Friday, October 5, 2012
Huge mistake
I did something very very immoral and wrong and deeply hurt someone I don't know and ruined one of their most important relationships. What have I done and who do I think I am? I'm so scared I have no self control, that I could do something worse...
Monday, September 10, 2012
Honesty
Is so valued. I can be annoying, lazy and stupid, really stupid, but I'm more loyal than any friend you could ever have and I have never lied to any friend of mine. I never give up either. That's honesty.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Those funny moments when...
You see someone fall over an they know that you Know what happened.
You are so happy you say something that makes 0 amount of sense.
Your alone and you start talking as though your dog is going to answer you.
Your home alone and suddenly your favorite song at the time comes on and you do your own little film clip, dancing your ass off.
Your either psychic or they're a liar caught in the act and shit gets awkward.
Your body reacts to something and you can't control it, like you know the toast is going to pop.. But you jump anyway.
Your friends laugh makes you want to laugh.
When announce something you just realized and it's really obvious.
Great moments when...
You see an elderly couple... Who are still going on cute dates because when they got together people fixed broken things instead of throwing them out.
You are in a crowd at a concert and everybody has their arms up and singing together.
You become proud of yourself because your fucking awesome. And sexy.
Keep up the happy times lovelies!!
Wolfwriter Xx
You are so happy you say something that makes 0 amount of sense.
Your alone and you start talking as though your dog is going to answer you.
Your home alone and suddenly your favorite song at the time comes on and you do your own little film clip, dancing your ass off.
Your either psychic or they're a liar caught in the act and shit gets awkward.
Your body reacts to something and you can't control it, like you know the toast is going to pop.. But you jump anyway.
Your friends laugh makes you want to laugh.
When announce something you just realized and it's really obvious.
Great moments when...
You see an elderly couple... Who are still going on cute dates because when they got together people fixed broken things instead of throwing them out.
You are in a crowd at a concert and everybody has their arms up and singing together.
You become proud of yourself because your fucking awesome. And sexy.
Keep up the happy times lovelies!!
Wolfwriter Xx
The Heart
Our hearts will NEVER agree with our heads 100% Our hearts will never love anything that is 100% good and our hearts sure as hell will never make sense to us, but as erratic as they are, as much pain as they cause an as much as you want to donate it and just use your head, you would be even more lost without it.
Our hearts are our guides and they are NOT meant to take us the easiest, quickest path. They are meant to give us a life, pain, anger, love, passion, indifference, give us opinions, thoughts and aspirations.
If you think your heart is broken, just remember, a broken heart is a painful pesky problem but you can't die from it, so move the hell on. Keep following it through the pain!
It's not easy, it's just not.
Our hearts are our guides and they are NOT meant to take us the easiest, quickest path. They are meant to give us a life, pain, anger, love, passion, indifference, give us opinions, thoughts and aspirations.
If you think your heart is broken, just remember, a broken heart is a painful pesky problem but you can't die from it, so move the hell on. Keep following it through the pain!
It's not easy, it's just not.
Friday, June 22, 2012
I'm not leaving without my word, okay? Good.
Who are you? Ask yourself this before the next time you act upon someone for something that in your mind was wrong. I have no time to think anymore, but I do learn. I know three things in my life:
1. The choking concept of study and schoolwork.
2. The incomprehensible idea of my workplace being the only time I have to myself, when cleaning up after other people (literally).
3. The obscurity that is me. The COMPLEXES of my heart, the IMPATIENCE of my mind, and the nothingness pressing on my heart and mind to keep them in place.
I think I started this shit blog a year or two ago when I thought I was so dahm important everyone wanted to know what I had to say... HAHA in my face ;) ..havent touched it since I was obsessed with my first boyfriend. (Cue lancing across my heart. ...Cue pushing those thoughst aside).
Im going to start writing again and only because it's what I know how to do, without being taught. Writing is my special power, that one and only thing I was born with that makes me happy and how to express myself. There are MILLIONS of more skilled, more emotional and inspirational writers out there, but right now I'm 17 years of age going on 25 and I need ME TIME! Sure we all do but I deserve it. (Don't all teenagers say that, ehh? ;) Well I'm not ashamed of it... im not.)
LATEST GOSSIP ON DARBY:
I spoke to someone I will never admit I miss, she wouldnt give two shit's anyway though, which is good.
I went to Lady GaGa's Born This Way: Monster tour in Sydney. I LOVE Sydney, even though whenever I'm there in public im too scared to gawk at anything because my over-reactive imagination puts me on edge. Im masochistic.
I love to hate love, but invoke empty daydreams about it.
I'm changing physically and mentally, but not emotionally (There are shards rooted deep in my heart that do nothing but ache).
I ADORE my hair :) and you should too, because its great. Yupp.
THINGS I REALISE ABOUT MYSELF that I don't want to forget.
I am a good liar.
I can be so harsh, I do have that power. FORGIVING is not being weak.
It only takes 2mins 13secs to go from being confident, headstrong and beautiful to fat, regretful and stupid.
But Im still beautiful.
I've got pain, oh yeah, but i've got shitloads of happy times that I cant remember.
My bad knee hurts when I'm tired
I only shower comfortably with music.
I dance in my mirror before every shower and I look completely stupid, but I dont do it to look cool, I look good to me. (I dare you to correct that logic).
I just want to find someone who understands my absolute sarcasm, and who will just smile when I do something stupid. Because prince-charmings don't exist.
Massages put me to sleep.
I can't wake up in winter.
I love my job.
9 months till i'm 18 and can finally go out and meet new people!
Im short and no where near thin and I like eeehhhhhttt!!
I'm tired now and a phone call i just got has put me in a shitty mood bloggersaurus's so Taa! Have a good week :) and dont forget, its okay to feel bad.
Wolfwriter Xx
1. The choking concept of study and schoolwork.
2. The incomprehensible idea of my workplace being the only time I have to myself, when cleaning up after other people (literally).
3. The obscurity that is me. The COMPLEXES of my heart, the IMPATIENCE of my mind, and the nothingness pressing on my heart and mind to keep them in place.
I think I started this shit blog a year or two ago when I thought I was so dahm important everyone wanted to know what I had to say... HAHA in my face ;) ..havent touched it since I was obsessed with my first boyfriend. (Cue lancing across my heart. ...Cue pushing those thoughst aside).
Im going to start writing again and only because it's what I know how to do, without being taught. Writing is my special power, that one and only thing I was born with that makes me happy and how to express myself. There are MILLIONS of more skilled, more emotional and inspirational writers out there, but right now I'm 17 years of age going on 25 and I need ME TIME! Sure we all do but I deserve it. (Don't all teenagers say that, ehh? ;) Well I'm not ashamed of it... im not.)
LATEST GOSSIP ON DARBY:
I spoke to someone I will never admit I miss, she wouldnt give two shit's anyway though, which is good.
I went to Lady GaGa's Born This Way: Monster tour in Sydney. I LOVE Sydney, even though whenever I'm there in public im too scared to gawk at anything because my over-reactive imagination puts me on edge. Im masochistic.
I love to hate love, but invoke empty daydreams about it.
I'm changing physically and mentally, but not emotionally (There are shards rooted deep in my heart that do nothing but ache).
I ADORE my hair :) and you should too, because its great. Yupp.
THINGS I REALISE ABOUT MYSELF that I don't want to forget.
I am a good liar.
I can be so harsh, I do have that power. FORGIVING is not being weak.
It only takes 2mins 13secs to go from being confident, headstrong and beautiful to fat, regretful and stupid.
But Im still beautiful.
I've got pain, oh yeah, but i've got shitloads of happy times that I cant remember.
My bad knee hurts when I'm tired
I only shower comfortably with music.
I dance in my mirror before every shower and I look completely stupid, but I dont do it to look cool, I look good to me. (I dare you to correct that logic).
I just want to find someone who understands my absolute sarcasm, and who will just smile when I do something stupid. Because prince-charmings don't exist.
Massages put me to sleep.
I can't wake up in winter.
I love my job.
9 months till i'm 18 and can finally go out and meet new people!
Im short and no where near thin and I like eeehhhhhttt!!
I'm tired now and a phone call i just got has put me in a shitty mood bloggersaurus's so Taa! Have a good week :) and dont forget, its okay to feel bad.
Wolfwriter XxSunday, January 23, 2011
Your life is but a blip in eternity.
He wont ever understand. I see in that fact, the same essence that troubles me about my dad. But thats not my point at the moment, I lose track of my point so often it seems like I dont have one. My point here is simple in unexpected ways he will never understand. The more he lives his life, 1000 miles away, how I want him to, enjoy himself and not lock himself away out of laziness and poor social skill... The less time and reason he has for me in his life, to bother keeping me there. And if I made him realise this point I know he would make me believe to a certain point I am wrong, but deep down I will know im right even if I eventually forget this point and it ends up another forgotten and invisible (to him) weight on our relationship. We will go on, I feel like any stop we have will be sudden and right even if it is regretful. If he knew the real me, if he knew I wrote things like this, he would either write it off or back away from me and ignore it. Stuff it. chuck it all to hell, this whole world is 80% bullshit for at least the last century. Everyday i learn new things about me and the world, good and terrible, more or less the latter. im 15 years old and speaking like this freaks me out because im quite sure no one else my age would do this. its true im a sheep in a way, like he says, just not the way he thinks I am.
I hear every day, here and there, the people who i once called 'close' sigh in regret and pain, or curse at the unfairness of life, but do nothing more because of one simple fact, life is life. things are what they are and cannot be changed. People have limits and some peoples are more obvious than most would think. I'll play the game of life, at school, at work, at home, and even when im alone and in all honesty on some level, we all do. The 'game' is the name of life, given to it by people who will not except the fact/reality of life. The most common example is a teenage girl or boy, who will have a single deep conversation with an unlikely classmate or enemy or friend, discussing how school is a giant game and it should all stop. Eventually they will or wont realise its not a game, its life in a sad, beautiful, twisted, emotional way. You win some, you lose some. Yin/Yang, Karma, Truth is always better than a lie, emotions run wild, cliche moments, corny lines and saying about romance and life that usually go unnoticed, catagorization, race, religion.. it is all LIFE. 5% of me right now hopes he see's this, 10% wonders what he would do, 35% knows it will be bad if he does because I will be disappointed as his reaction will prove that if there is someone who will make me happy, he isnt it.40% I dont care and 10% of me wonders..wonders if something amazing would happen even if i belive it never will. I know im in love, and I know my entire existance is not about a boy, just like this segment is only mere understanding and curious thoughts put to paper (well screen), but all in all, what I have with this boy is real, even if he forgets that unless he is with me, as do I alot, but when I think about it i just KNOW this is something, even if i never find the words to tell him. Now to publish my deepest thoughts as a 15 year old girl, just starting life and learning the hard lessons, this i can honestly is something you wont get out of any girls my age I know. I love lifes harsh ways of beauty, as much as i love every honest word i have left here for you to read.
xo, wolfwriter.
I hear every day, here and there, the people who i once called 'close' sigh in regret and pain, or curse at the unfairness of life, but do nothing more because of one simple fact, life is life. things are what they are and cannot be changed. People have limits and some peoples are more obvious than most would think. I'll play the game of life, at school, at work, at home, and even when im alone and in all honesty on some level, we all do. The 'game' is the name of life, given to it by people who will not except the fact/reality of life. The most common example is a teenage girl or boy, who will have a single deep conversation with an unlikely classmate or enemy or friend, discussing how school is a giant game and it should all stop. Eventually they will or wont realise its not a game, its life in a sad, beautiful, twisted, emotional way. You win some, you lose some. Yin/Yang, Karma, Truth is always better than a lie, emotions run wild, cliche moments, corny lines and saying about romance and life that usually go unnoticed, catagorization, race, religion.. it is all LIFE. 5% of me right now hopes he see's this, 10% wonders what he would do, 35% knows it will be bad if he does because I will be disappointed as his reaction will prove that if there is someone who will make me happy, he isnt it.40% I dont care and 10% of me wonders..wonders if something amazing would happen even if i belive it never will. I know im in love, and I know my entire existance is not about a boy, just like this segment is only mere understanding and curious thoughts put to paper (well screen), but all in all, what I have with this boy is real, even if he forgets that unless he is with me, as do I alot, but when I think about it i just KNOW this is something, even if i never find the words to tell him. Now to publish my deepest thoughts as a 15 year old girl, just starting life and learning the hard lessons, this i can honestly is something you wont get out of any girls my age I know. I love lifes harsh ways of beauty, as much as i love every honest word i have left here for you to read.
xo, wolfwriter.
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